Episode 499.e Bubble Guppies: Oona the Musical! (Part 5)
Plot An extraordinary little girl named Oona decides that despite a bad beginning filled with rotten parents, a terrifying school and a vicious head mistress, her story is going to be an astonishing one. With the help of her teacher, her friends and a little bit of imagination, Oona proves that even if she's little, she can do big things. Cast *Oona as (Matilda) *Mr. Shaskan as (Mr. Wormwood) *Mrs. Shaskan as (Mrs. Wormwood) *The Witch as (Miss Trunchbull) *Mrs. Grouper as (Miss Honey) *Deema as (Lavender) *The Color Monster as (Henchman) *Sandy as (Acrobat) *Ms. Duey as (Miss Phelps) *Nonny as (Nigel) *Molly as (Alice) *One of Sandy's Sisters as (Henchwoman) *Goofin as (Micheal) *Gil as (Bruce Bogtrotter) *Tobias as (Tommy) *Goby as (Eric) *Jimberly as (Amanda Thripp) *Ashlie as (Hortensia) *Cook Crab as (Cook) *Archaeologist as (Escapologist) *Mr. Grumpfish as (Rudolpho) *Mr. Grouper as (Children's Entertainer) *Ringmaster as (Sergei) *Dr. Clark as (Doctor) Information *Genres: Comedy, Fantasy, Musical *Rating: PG for some violence, a bit of curse words, and some scary scenes. *Type of film: Fantasy, Comedy, Musical Trivia *This is based on the 2011 West End musical "Matilda the Musical!" You can read about it on Wikipedia. *There are both regular and fanon characters in this story. Story Start of Part 5. (Scene: Library) (Ms. Duey is sitting on a block and Oona is standing on one, holding the two dolls.) Oona: And so, the great day arrived! It was like the entire world had gathered to see The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage. Everything was arranged by – (She pulls her coat over her head to simulate a hunchback, and grabs a large book.) Oona: – Sandy's sister, a frightening woman who used to be an Olympic-class hammer-thrower, who loved nothing better than to scare the children of the town. People whispered that in her dark and brooding heart, she resented the sister, both her success and her love. (The Archaeologist starts to walk in. He stands up on a block.) Oona: Suddenly, out came the Archaeologist, dressed as usual in his tights and spangly costume. But there was no sign of Sandy, and no glimpse at all of her shiny white scarf. And instead of a musical fanfare, there was silence, as he solemnly strode into the room. Oona and Archaeologist: Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage has been . . . cancelled! Ms. Duey: No! Oona: Yes! The audience gasped so loud that a passing aeroplane caught it on its instrumentation and recorded it as an atmospheric phenomenon. Oona and Archaeologist: Cancelled, because my wife is . . . pregnant! Ms. Duey: Oh, Oona! Oona: Absolute silence. You could have heard a fly burp. Then suddenly, the audience jumped to its feet and roared in appreciation! (An audience cheers. Sandy enters, and the Archaeologist takes her by the hand. They embrace and exit.) Oona: The great feat was instantly forgotten, and the applause went on for nearly an hour. Ms. Duey: So it has a happy ending! Oona: Forgotten, by everyone except, that is – (She pulls her coat over her head.) Oona: – Sandy's sister. When all had quietened down, she stepped forward and produced . . . a contract. Ms. Duey: A . . . A contract? Oona and Sandy: "A contract was signed to perform this feat, and perform this feat you shall!" Ms. Duey: No! Oona and Sandy: "I have paid for the posters, publicity, the catering, the toilet facilities. If I give the crowd their money back, where is my profit?! A contract is a contract is a contract! My hands are tied. The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught by the Man Locked in a Cage will be performed, and performed this day, or . . . off to prison you both shall go!" Ms. Duey: No! No! (Oona holds her a dramatic pose, holding the large book above her head.) Ms. Duey: Well, what happened next? Oona: I don't know. I'll tell you tomorrow. Ms. Duey: What?! I don't know if my nerves will make it until tomorrow. Oona: Ms. Duey? Are you crying? Maybe I shouldn't tell you any more. Ms. Duey: Oh, no, Oona. We must find out how it ends. And . . . I'm not crying because it's sad. It's just that they want that child so very much. It must be wonderful for a child to be so wanted. Oona: Yes, wonderful. Good-bye, Ms. Duey. (Ms. Duey exits with the blocks.) (Scene: Classroom) (Oona and her classmates walk in. They sit at their desks and unpack their bags. Mrs. Grouper enters and erases the board.) Mrs. Grouper: Oona? Could I speak to you for a moment, please? I'm afraid I've not been too successful in getting others to recognize your . . . abilities. So, starting tomorrow, I shall bring a selection of very clever books that I think will challenge your mind. And you may sit and read while I teach the others, and, well, if you have any questions, I shall do my best to answer them. How does that sound? (Oona stares up at her for several long seconds. She then steps forward and hugs Mrs. Grouper tightly.) Mrs. Grouper: Oona, that . . . That is the biggest hug in the world. (She wraps her hands around Oona.) Mrs. Grouper: You're going to hug all the air out of me. Miss Witch: Oona Shaskan! Oona Shaskan! (Mrs. Grouper steps away from Oona as Miss Witch enters by the blackboard.) Miss Witch: Where is Oon– (Oona holds up her hand.) Oona: Yes, Miss Witch. Miss Witch: So you admit it, do you? Oona: Admit what, Miss Witch? Miss Witch: This clot, this foul carbuncle is none other than a disgusting criminal! (She takes Oona by the wrist and leads her to Goby's desk.) Miss Witch: A denizen of the underworld! A member of the mafia! (She shoves Goby out of his seat so Oona can stand on his desk.) Goby: Ah! Miss Witch: This morning, you sneaked like a serpent into the kitchen and stole a slice of my private chocolate cake from my tea tray. Oona: No, I did not! Mrs. Grouper: (placatingly) Miss Witch. Oona's been here all morning. Miss Witch: Standing up for the little spit-ball, are you? Well, this crime took place before school started. And therefore, she is guilty! (Miss Witch starts to write the word "GUILTY" on the board. Gil begins to talk.) Gil: Okay! Look! All right! I stole the cake. And honestly, I was really, definitely, sort of, almost thinking about owning up. Maybe. But the thing was, I was having a lot of trouble with my belly. You see, the Witch's cake was so good that I'd scoffed it down too quick, and now it was beginning to fight back. (His stomach growls.) Gil: Oops! See! (Gil turns back around. Miss Witch finishes writing the word "GUILTY" on the board.) Oona: I'm not guilty! I didn't do anything! Miss Witch: You are guilty, because you are a fiend. You are a crook. You are a thief! And I shall crush you. I shall pound you. I shall consign you to the seventh circle of hell, child. You shall be . . . You shall be destroyed. (Gil turns around and burps for a full ten seconds. The children thrash in their seats. Gil talks again.) Gil: It was the biggest burp I had ever done. It was the biggest burp I had ever heard. The biggest burp I had ever heard about! It was like the entire world went silent for that burp to exist. (A purple imaginary cloud starts to make its way from Gil across the classroom.) Gil: As a huge cloud of chocolate-y gas wafted from my mouth and drifted across the class. Past Deema. Past Molly. Past Oona. And then, my great, big, beautiful chocolate-y burp, which now seemed to have a mind of its own, wafted full into the face of the Witch! (Miss Witch grimaces as the purple imaginary cloud leaves her. The children, save Gil, but including Mrs. Grouper, hide under the desks. Miss Witch sniffs and licks the air. She then sniffs her way across the room, following the former path of the spotlight. She stops in triumph.) Miss Witch: Gil Gordon. Gil: Yes, miss? Miss Witch: You liked my cake, didn't you, Gil? Gil: Yes, Miss Witch! And I'm very sorry – Miss Witch: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. As long as you enjoyed the cake. That's the main thing. Gil: Is it? Miss Witch: Yes! Gordon, it is. Gil: Well, I did. Thank you. Miss Witch: Wonderful. Marvellous. That makes me so happy. It gives me a warm glow in my lower intestine. Oh, cook . . . (The cook crab enters, holding an enormous chocolate cake on a tray, along with a wooden spoon. She puts it down on the desk behind Gil. She exits, not before scratching her behind and wiping her nose.) Miss Witch: What's the matter, Gordon? Lost your appetite? Gil: Well, yes. I'm full. Miss Witch: Oh, no, you are not "full". I'll tell you when you are full. And I say that criminals like you are not full until you have eaten the entire cake. Gil: But – Miss Witch: No "buts". You haven't got time for "but". Eat. Gil: But I can't eat it all! Mrs. Grouper: Headmistress, he'll be sick! Miss Witch: He should have thought of that before he made a pact with Satan and decided to steal my cake! Well? Come on! Eat! Children: He can't! Miss Witch: Eat! Children: He surely can't! Miss Witch: Eat! Children: He might explode! Miss Witch: Eat!! (Miss Witch strides to the board. Over the course of the song, she writes on the board: "Copy one million times by tomorrow. I am FULL when and only when the Headmistress says I am FULL. I am GUILTY when the Headmistress says I am GUILTY.") Children: (singing) A single slice, or even two, Gil, might have been nice, but even you, Gil, have to admit between you and it, there's not a lot of difference in size. Children 1: (singing) He can't! Children 2: (singing) He can! Gil! Children 1: (singing) He surely can't! He surely can't! Children 2: (singing) You are the man, Gil! Children 1: (singing) He might explode! Children 2: (singing) He's quite elastic . . . Children 1: (singing) He's going to blow. Make him stop! Children 2: (singing) He's fantastic! Look at him go! Children 1: (singing) I can't watch! Children: (singing) I think in effect, this must confirm, Gil, what we all suspected. You have a worm, Gil! Or maybe your largeness is like the TARDIS: Considerably roomier inside. Children 1: (singing) He can't! Children 2: (singing) He can! Children 1: (singing) He surely can't! He surely can't! Children 2: (singing) You are the man, Gil! Children: (singing) G-I-L-L-L! Gil! You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose. She'll call a truce, Gil. With every swallow, you are tightening the noose. We never thought it was possible, but here it is, coming true: We can have our cake and it it too! The time has come to put that tumbly-tum to use. No excuse, Gil. Let out your belt. I think you'll want your trousers loose. Oh – Stuff it in. (Gil!) You're almost finished. (Gil!) You'll fit it in. Whatever you do, just don't give in. Don't let her win. Come on, Gil, be our hero. Cover yourself in chocolate glory! Gil: It's too much! It's just too much! Oona: Go on, Gil. Do it. Miss Witch: Silence! (Gil wilts by the desk. Deema puts the wooden spoon back in his hand. He drops it again. Then after several seconds, he picks it up and returns to the cake with renewed vigour.) Children: (singing) Oh – Gil! You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose. She'll call a truce, Gil. Just one more bite and you'll've completely cooked her goose. We never thought it was possible, but here it is, coming true: We can have our cake and eat it – Ah-ah-aah-ah! Ah-ah-aah-ah! Ah-ah-aah-ah! Ah-ah-aah-ah! Children and Mrs. Grouper: Ah! (Mrs. Grouper jumps up and down with joy.) Mrs. Grouper: Go on, Gilly! Yeah! Yes! (She pauses and realizes what she has done, and slowly lowers her hands.) Mrs. Grouper: Sorry, Miss Witch. I got carried away. Miss Witch: That's all right, Jenny. We all get carried away sometimes. Even me. (Looking irritated, she makes her way to Gil's side.) Miss Witch: Well done, Gordon. Good show. (She is about to exit the classroom when she stops and turns back.) Miss Witch: Well? Come along, Gordon. Gil: What? Where? Miss Witch: Oh, did I not mention? That was only the first part of your punishment. There's more – the second part. And the second part is Chokey! Gil: What?! Mrs. Grouper: No. No, Miss Witch. Please. You can't. Miss Witch: Yes, Miss Witch, please, you can! Do you think I would allow myself to be defeated by these maggots, do you? Who do you think I am, Mrs. Grouper? A weakling? An idiot? A fool? You? Mrs. Grouper: He's eaten it all. He did what you asked. (Miss Witch takes Gil by the wrist and leads him out of the classroom.) Gil: I did! I ate the lot! Please! No! No, not there! Don't take me to Chokey! Please! No! No! Oona: That's not right! End of Part 5. Recap Oona tells Ms. Duey more about Sandy and the Archaeologist. Sandy's sister, a former world champion hammer-thrower who loved to scare small children, has arranged their performance. The arachaeologist announces that the performance has been cancelled because Sandy is pregnant. The crowd is thrilled but the Sandy's sister is furious at the prospect of refunding the crowd's money and produces a contract binding them to perform the act or go to jail. At school, Gil Gordon, a boy in Oona's class, has stolen a slice of Miss Witch's personal chocolate cake. She punishes Gil by forcing him to eat an entire cake in front of the class, who bravely support him. After Gil has finished the cake, the class celebrates his success but Miss Witch drags Gil away to the Chokey. Category:Stories